Monday, June 1, 2009

Not Enough Time

This little update might get on the long side so get comfy!

I feel like I'm falling behind in my wedding planning blogging (and planning itself) and I don't like it one bit! I realize that the wedding is 11 months away. Some of you I'm sure are saying why in the world are you worried? 11 months is a long ways a way. Unless you've planned a wedding before you have NO idea what all it involves. And when you're planning on doing as much as humanly possible DIY (as I am) that complicates things so much more complicated and time consuming. Not to mention that the 11 months till the wedding will FLY BY and will be here in the blink of an eye. Wedding planning is a full time job (I already have one so I'm now I'm working two).

I have been uber busy...with non wedding related stuff. As mush as I'd like for it to, life goes on while you're in the middle of planning the most important day of your life. Laundry still needs to be done, dishes still need to be washed, the house still needs to be cleaned, the dogs still need to be walked.bathed.given hair cuts.fed, I still have to show up at work 5 days a week for 8 hours, church is still every Sunday morning, and the list goes on and on and on! Now, thankfully I'm still living at home with my mom and we share all these responsibilities, so that makes it a bit easier.

For weeks I've been needing to take pictures of our toasting flutes, cake serving set, the guys socks, and the gifts for the flower girls. And yet they still haven't been taken. I just haven't had the time. I was hoping to already have the save-the-dates e-mailed by now and that hasn't even happened. Today was the first day I was even able to begin working on a rough draft guest list. And that list is only for my side of the family and my friends. Charles and I haven't been able to sit down to work on his part of the list yet. And we won't be able to do so for at least two more weeks because he's getting ready to go out of town! Ugh.

We have so much we need to work on together (example: getting ideas for our registries...more on that another time, guest list, invitation wording ideas, etc). But we have literally NO time to do it. I feel like I'm planning our wedding without him and I don't like that feeling at all. I've tried to include him in the decision making process up to this point but when you have less than 8 hours a week (yes...LESS THAN EIGHT HOURS A WEEK) with your fiance that makes it nearly impossible.

I feel it's time to share one of my big stress factors with you all....
Charles is a Police Communications Officer (Dispatch Officer) for one of the local police departments. He works second shift (1:45pm - 10:15pm). Doesn't sound so bad does it now? Well, factor in this stuff:
1) he works that schedule every week from Thursday - Monday (he has Tuesday and Wednesday off)
2) I work Monday - Friday 8:30am - 5:00pm (and have Saturday and Sunday off)
3) both our schedules are set and never change.
4) Wednesday nights he attends the evening service at his long time church (Sunday he attends with me...well he will be within the next few weeks)
What does that all equal:
1) Tuesday is our date night.
2) I get to his house at around 5:30pm on Tuesday evenings and leave that night at various times depending on how tired he is/I am. (It's probably an average of 5 hours we have together.)
3) Wednesdays I get to his house at 5:30pm and leave at 6:30 so he can get to church on time. (That's just one hour together.)
4) Sunday's for church I won't really count. While we are together and we are learning, worshiping and growing in the Lord (the most important things we could be doing), it's just not the same.

So that gives us a grand total of roughly 6-7 hours together a WEEK! Adding church on to that would still only bring us to 8-9 hours together tops.

I'm sorry but that's just not enough! This fact of us having so little time together is really wearing on us both. In the very beginning of our relationship, we both agreed that the limited time was a blessing in disguise (yeah it totally sucked but we felt it was a good thing). Having limited time in the beginning allowed things to move at a slow and steady pace, it kept us from moving too fast, kept us from getting too physical, etc. However now, it is killing us. I suppose it could be worse than this but it's just so hard.

He is the man I want to have children with, grow old with, have grandbabies with, I want to go to sleep next to him and wake next to him and so on. I want to be with him as much as I possibly can. But because of our schedules, that is oh so limited. Sometimes I seriously toy with the idea of going down to the court house to get married so we can really be together. See, we are what is now considered old fashioned in the thinking that we should not sleep together let alone live together before we are married.

Anyways, I think I'll wrap this up now and stop boring you with all my whining. Needless to say, it's extremely hard not to have more time with my love, not to have more time to plan our wedding together and so on.

Is the time you have with your fiance limited and out of your control? How does it play in to your wedding planning?


  1. I can totally sympathize with you, Kristal! My fiance used to work 3rd shift, which meant that he was either at work, sleeping, or going to class. We only got to see each other on the weekends, assuming he didn't have to work.

    Now he's on 2nd shift, so we do get to see each other slightly more often, though, again, not as much as we'd like. It can be rough, but as long as the time you do have together is special, hopefully you can make it through!

    As for the planning, all I can say is - holy cow! If you're behind at 11 months, then I don't even know if there's a word for what I am! :) We definitely do not have our toasting glasses, flower girl gifts, etc. yet, and we only have about 7 months left!

    I know you're just getting started with the nitty gritty details at 11 months out, but, trust me, it will get easier! Have you ever checked out the to-do lists on "The Knot" or "The Wedding Channel". While you don't have to follow them to the letter, they have definitely helped me feel less overwhelmed!

  2. I'm so glad I'm not the only one out there who has such limited time with her fiance! I have checked out The Knot's check list and have it in place but I'll admit I hardly get on the knot. I'm so picky about what I want and have my ideas so incredibly nailed down in my head. And because of that, I have lots of things already done (completely or partially) and soooo out of order that I think I'm confusing myself! lol I think what I may need to do is make my own check list on paper or Excel that way I can really see what I have done and what still needs to be done.

  3. Hey girlie. Sorry to hear of your hardship with scheduling. That really stinks. I can say that if I were dating, I would definitely need all that time apart because I am a weakling in the physical dept. ;) Anywhoo, I will be praying for you that somehow you two would be able to work it out. Are there things you can give him to work on during the day while you are at work? Can you spend some of your date-nights planning? I know it seems like a lot but rally your girlfriends and mom to help you. Have a girls night where you assemble some of the things you can do ahead of time. Delegate my love!! ;) And try not to stress out too bad in the end the wedding is one day the marriage is a lifetime. Try not to let the stress of it all hinder you and Charles' time together. Love ya!!!

  4. Thanks so much for the prayers Amber, they are much appreciated! Unfortunately, right now all the stuff that needs to be done we'll have to work on together. I was trying to avoid date night planning but I don't think there's going to be any way around it once he comes back from vacation. My girls and mom will be of a great help later on but right now the stuff that has to be done is stuff that I can't hand off. I need to work on my *cough*budget*cough* which I'm pretty sure I've blown, the guest list, gathering e-mail addresses for the save-the-dates, get a list of the rental stuff we'll need and so on. Mom is a HUGE help and does help me now when she's thankfully I have her! Love you!