Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Breaking & Keeping Traditions

For our wedding, I'm breaking lots of "traditions". I'm trying to keep things unique and hopefully do some stuff not many people have seen or heard of. Here's a run-down of our tradition breaking:

1) We will not be having a unity candle ceremony. However, we will have a unity sand ceremony. Us bride bloggers know exactly what I'm talking about but I don't think many of our guests will. Therefore, we have something memorable and unique to symbolize us becoming one.
(Source: unknown)

2) At the reception there will be no dancing and therefore, no first dance.

3) As I mentioned in my last post, we will not be having a ring bearer.

4) My dad will not be walking me down the aisle.*(This will be addressed in another post.)

5) The seating at the reception will not be dictated by me or anyone else. Guests will be able to sit wherever and with whomever they like.

6) We will be having a bouquet and garter toss but it will not be restricted for single/unmarried folk. Most everyone at our wedding will be married so in an effort not to make our few single friends embarrassed, the tosses will be open to everyone. I'm also thinking of doing something along the lines of what Miss. Bruschetta over on WeddingBee did. She tied Lottery Tickets to the garter and bouquet and opened the tosses to everyone. The tickets were the incentive to get the guests involved. Since Charles and I are not the gambling/lottery type, I'm thinking of adding some cash. Everyone loves some cash and I think it would be fun, memorable and get the guests involved!

7) There will be no china, silverware, glassware or any other type of fine dining plates/utensils at our reception. Instead, we'll be going for the plastic. (More on this another time.)

8) Our guest book will be a book featuring our engagement pictures with plenty of blank space for our guests to sign and leave little notes if they'd like. Just like with the unity sand ceremony, all of us bride bloggers are very familiar with this concept. But again, I don't think many of our guests will have seen or heard of such a thing and besides....I just plain love it! After the wedding, our "guest book" will have a prominent place on our coffee table and we'll enjoy it for years and years.

9) All of our wedding music (ceremony and reception) will be done through iTunes on my MacBook! This is yet another thing we BB (bride bloggers) are familiar with. I love this idea because it's VERY budget friendly and we get to choose everything that will be played.

10) We're seeing each other before the ceremony. Why? I for sure will be a nervous/anxious wreck and I'm sure Charles will be too. Seeing him will greatly help ease my anxiety. Plus, because we'll be seeing each other before the wedding we'll be able to get nearly all of our pictures taken before hand. That means no pressure on the photographers, my hair and makeup and overall appearance will look better, we won't leave our guests high and dry for an hour while we scramble to get pictures, etc.

11) We're not doing favors. I just simply don't have the budget to give anything that I would consider worth giving.

12) As mentioned in Save-the-Dates, I'm opting to e-mail our save-the-dates. Once again it comes down to the budget. When you're artsy and decent with graphic design, there is no cost involved at all to do this.
(Source: yours truly)

After this list of tradition breaking, there are some traditions that we are keeping:
1) Cake cutting and toast.

2) We're also choosing to go down the old fashioned route and have a receiving line. Why? We really want to make sure we see all our guests. After all, they took time out of their busy schedules to attend the wedding and lots will have traveled as well. And...I have a hidden agenda. lol I won't lie. What is it? Well as you know we're having an outdoor ceremony and reception. I'm only going to be renting one set of chairs. I really can't justify buying double the number of chairs so that there are chairs set up where the ceremony will be and then also where the reception will be. During the receiving line, I'm going to have close family members (aunts, uncles, cousins and anyone willing to help) move the chairs from the ceremony location to the tables under the tent. Why spend the money on two sets when after the ceremony that set would sit unused for the rest of the day!?

3) I'm keeping the something old, new, borrowed, blue tradition. I have my something old and new but I'm still working on the blue and have no clue about the borrowed.

That's all I can think of at the moment. What are your thoughts on all this? Are you breaking more traditions than you're keeping? How does your fiance feel about it?


  1. I have comments for all these so I'm going to number mine to correspond. :D

    1) Mike and I did the same thing since we were getting married outside. I dreaded the idea of the Unity Candle getting blown out during my ceremony. Sand is a beautiful alternative and much easier to display post-wedding, I believe.

    2)The first dance at ours felt excessively long despite us picking a short song. I think this is a good idea, actually.


    4)I didn't either. My reason was a very feminist, "I'm not property to be given away. I'm joining my life with Mike's not selling it to him."

    5)We did this too and it worked great. Everyone mingled and both sides of the family got to know each other without the awkwardness of us forcing it. Good choice!

    6)Wish I had thought of that.

    7,8) No comments. :D

    9) Again, something I wish we had done. Our reception ended up being more about socializing than dancing and we would have saved lots of money by choosing this route.

    10)My friend Cara did that for her wedding and the pictures turned out stunning. The lack of wait was also great for the rest of us. ;) Onto the celebrating!

    11) Smart move. Favors are usually junk or way too expensive.

    12)Smart again.

    And as for the traditions you are keeping, they are of course going to be lovely. Could I suggest a borrowed piece of jewelry? I wore my grandmother's tennis bracelet since I had already bought the other jewelry I wanted to wear. And get a garter with a blue ribbon going through it! Also, when it comes to the garter, you might want to have two. One for tossing on one leg and one for keepsake on the other. Your choice of course! Your wedding is going to be so beautiful!

  2. I already have the earrings I'll be wearing and I wasn't planning on any other jewelry. A necklace would compete with the dress and I'm too afraid to wear a bracelet because I think it would snag my dress. I wore one to by best friend's wedding and managed to get a nice snag in the chiffon! :(

    For blue I'm thinking....panties! haha A nice surprise for Charles too. lol

    I am having to garters. My mom is making both of them for me. The toss garter will be purple (of course) and then the keepsake tradition white with Swarovski crystals.

    Thanks for your comment lady, miss not seeing your beautiful face around here!

  3. I don't know if this opinion counts, but... I can think of two weddings I've been to where everyone was welcome in the bouquet and garter tosses, and honestly I felt cheated and ripped off. I'm already at a wedding, everything around me is about love, I'm already feeling embarrassed and self-conscious simply by virtue of the fact that I'm at a wedding. The garter toss is my one chance for singleness to work for me, to have a chance at winning and jumping higher than all the other single guys... and if I'm at a wedding with mostly married people anyway, and it's just me and three little kids going for the garter, then it's even better because I can easily jump over those kids. But start letting married people catch the garter, and what do I have to compete for? I lose to the groom's brother who already has three kids of his own; what does he need a garter for? Can't I have my moment to shine as a single guy? Now of course I'm being somewhat frivolous; it isn't about me, and it's just a game which doesn't really mean anything in the long run. But still, that's how it felt to me when they let married people catch the garter. I'm just saying.

  4. Dennis, I can kind of see where you're coming from. As someone who has been in many a bouquet toss lineups....I never liked being a part of them. I don't think any of our friends will feel cheated because we're opening the tosses up to fact, I think they'll appreciate not being embarrassed. (I can think of only one person who would want it broadcast that he's single. lol) With so many others involved, if they really want either the bouquet or garter then they'll just have to try harder to get it. lol And maybe what we can do is have the single people get up first and then ask others to join. I dunno...